The Financial Times (12-4-09, page 9: “Why Obama does not want a multipolar world order” by Zaki Laidi) has an excellent article on the uses and aspects of power in today’s global mix.  Deep within the article is an idea:

…”the world currently shares three global agendas:  the strategic agenda that continues to be massively dominated by the US, the economic agenda, which is more widely distributed, and the climate agenda, where the US is clearly on the defensive….”

What this suggests is a position can be taken within the US community that lagging in sustainability mind set, interests, and capability is further weakening its strategic and economic interests globally.  While a “values” argument has slower traction in our culture as yet (although rising in attractiveness in many quarters), a business case might be constructed by learning leaders for off setting a diminishing power base and a diluted economic one as reason to consider the green agenda.

It also suggests we have a large potential audience (within the US — not so much credibility abroad) for influencing a shift in mind set, creating critical mass within over time, towards sustainability as good business.

We are a pragmatic nation.  If we can craft a pragmatic argument, building momentum around it, there is vast potential yet to be unleashed and harnessed for prosperity in all respects.

Powerful ideas Beth–thanks for putting your thoughts out there.  What do you all think?  Do you have examples of strong cases for sustainability?

The ultimate snake-bite kit: When you are clear within yourself about the key values you want to exemplify in your interactions, it is far easier to listen and respond calmly, no matter what the situation.  Far too often we get caught up in “what if” scenarios–what if she says this?  what if he does that?  what if nothing happens at all?  I joke with my clients that I sometimes feel they’re asking me for a snake-bite kit with a wide array of anti-venoms for every single species of snake imaginable!  When you only respond to the external environment, you’ll never have all the answers.  Never.  There will always be a new situation for which you can’t prepare–a new snake who will strike without warning.

So what’s the answer?  Go to the heart of the matter–inside yourself.  Who do you want to BE in these different situations?  Decide the answer to that question before you walk in, be willing to act in accordance with those core values, and you possess the anti-venom to anything that comes.

Part One:  Show Up!!

This may seem like a simple thing, and I challenge you to try it!  When done well, “Showing Up” will have a huge impact on your personal effectiveness as well as improve the outcomes of meetings and individual interactions.

“Showing Up” means more than just arriving on time or being physically present in a meeting or conversation.  It means being mentally present and focused as well.  When you “show up” you are not replaying the conversation you just had in the prior meeting; you are not wondering if your admin put the international conference call code in your BlackBerry for the meeting after this one; you are not wondering if you’ll be out of this conversation in time to catch the last quarter of your child’s soccer game or make it to the dry cleaner before they close.  You are definitely not checking your BlackBerry or laptop for messages.

So what are you doing?? (This list is not exhaustive and not in order of importance!)

• You are making eye contact
• You are listening to what the other person is saying without formulating your response while they are still speaking
• You are attending to their body language and seeking to understand all of what they are saying.
• In a larger meeting you are looking around the room to see what other dynamics are going on–who is paying attention, who is grimacing, who looks surprised …?
• You are paying attention to your own reaction to what’s going on–am I feeling defensive, suspicious, relieved, intrigued, engaged, invited …?
• You are demonstrating to the other(s) that you have “shown up” by reflecting back your understanding of what they’ve just said and gaining clarity on their view before moving forward with your own response.
• You are focused and present to the people and situation you are in.
• You release the distractions of what came before, what’s waiting for you after, and all the people and tasks vying for your attention now in order to pay full attention to what is in front of you.

As Stephen Stills sings, “Love the one you’re with!”

So try really showing up at your next conversation or meeting and feel the difference your full and true presence can make. And by the way, this is one you CAN try at home!  I’d love to hear about your experiences with “showing up!”

It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends. -J.K. Rowling, author (b. 1965)

I find this to be an excruciatingly true statement for myself, and I hear many of my clients struggling with the same thing.  They ponder the dilemma–”How can I understand and motivate those around me without coming to know them well … yet once I know them well I struggle with delivering difficult messages about poor performance.”  I think there are probably volumes to be written about how, as a society, we have come to  equate agreement and lack of challenge with support and nurturance.  That is a dangerous equation.

When faced with the need to give developmental feedback/coaching to someone on our team (or in our family) we often treat it as if it will, by definition, be a negative confrontation.  On one hand we develop our “what if ”  strategies to prepare ourselves to counter any argument, and on the other side we create a list of “softeners” to remind the person that we really are still caring and supportive.  We don’t want to hurt anyone, or worse, have them think badly of us for having spoken up on the topic.  I’ve even heard of strategies to “sandwich” negative feedback in between two compliments–that’s fine as long as the sandwich isn’t too heavy on bread without enough meat!

Years ago I picked up a little word shift that has been helpful to me and many clients.  Instead of looking on developmental, difficult conversations as confrontation, try thinking of them as CAREfrontations.  Think about it–what is the purpose of telling someone they’ve underperformed?  Usually it’s to help them learn from mistakes and get them back on a high performance path. That concern for their success in itself demonstrates a caring attitude.  How much support are you really giving by letting them continue to make career killing mistakes while smiling and pointing out only the positives?  Handled with respect, a caring conversation about improvement opportunities is what any good friend and great leader does.

So try looking through the lens of CAREfrontation rather than confrontation, and see if it relieves your own heartburn and increases the effectiveness of your coaching conversations.

As leaders, how do we get ourselves to an appreciation, a trust in the abundant possibilities of a good juicy conflict?  It’s fairly easy to recognize and steer clear of the extremes of conflict management-rote agreement by a group at all costs we have come to call “the Abilene Paradox” from Jerry Harvey’s 1988 work by that title.  And unrelenting, unwavering contentious and disparaging disagreement by all parties on all things we’ve come to call … 2009 New York State politics I suppose!  It’s the middle ground where, as leaders, as parents, as community members, we can get bogged down.

I read a quote this morning from a daily meditation service, Abraham-Hicks, that, along with other events, sparked this writing.  The quote is this: “Even in your rightness about a subject, when you try to push your rightness toward another who disagrees, no matter how right you are, it causes more pushing against. In other words, it isn’t until you stop pushing that any real allowing of what you want can take place.”  Put another way, the biblical message recently popularized by Stephen Covey gets at the same idea-”Seek first to understand, and only then seek to be understood.”

My abundance lens would suggest one more adjustment on that advice-seek first to give thanks for the conflict, for the opportunity to broaden your perspective, for the chance to learn more about yourself (i.e. “why does this bother me and doesn’t seem to bother others?  What is it in my experience that is so reactive to this situation?”) and gain greater clarity on a particular issue.  Seek to embrace it.  In Patrick Lencioni’s marvelously common sense book The Five Dysfunctions of a Team he makes a compelling case for the healthy use of conflict as a foundational element of high performing teams.  Why?  Because when a team (or family) can get a variety of views out in the open and all members feel as if their experience and views and opinions have been given due consideration, the odds of selecting a best course of action and gaining team commitment to it improve exponentially.  When participants withhold their opinions, they often also withhold their commitment to team decisions.

Appreciating conflict and seeking to learn from it does NOT mean that you necessarily give in to the other, or even that you will always come to agree.  Creating a place of respect and appreciation for the other person and their point of view, however, sets up conditions far more conducive to accomplishing a greater outcome.  There are certainly times when clear decisions must be made that can, in the moment, be difficult for some participants to support.  That’s life-that’s why we call it conflict management, not resolution.  The key question is not simply “Do we all agree?” or even “Can we all support this?” but rather a longer view question of “Have we reached this decision in a way that (a) gave all players a voice, (b) considered all reasonable options, (c) allowed all to hear and understand the nuances, feelings, and perceived implications of the different points of view and (d) leaves the team relationships in a place that we can have future debates and healthy conflicts openly and without ‘baggage’?”

There are large opportunities in productive conflict management.  Starting from a place of appreciation rather than resistance unlocks that treasure chest.

Abundant leadership actively looks for those opportunities to appreciate, to value, to celebrate what’s happening, to trust (AND verify!) the positive intent and deep knowledge of an experienced team or organization. From that basis, clear decisions for precise action can be made. To some that may sound naïve, but let me give you an example.

Several months ago, I heard the leader of Nokia being interviewed about the global economic freefall we were in the midst of in winter 2009. I was facinated to hear him express appreciation, bordering on exuberance, for the downturn, citing that it gave him an opportunity to see where his weak spots, and those of his competitors, lay. He saw value and opportunity in economic hardship. He coupled his remarks with expressing confidence and trust in the capacity of his team to navigate the harsh economic climate successfully. This week’s news of Nokia Siemans Network purchasing Nortel’s carrier networks division and a wireless research unit (Nortel’smost lucrative assets) suggests that an attitude of abundance and seeking to appreciate the value in hardship was not naïve in the least. Turning tough situations on end and looking at them through a lens of abundance and appreciation first can consistently turn up perspectives, options and opportunities that the stressed and “realistic” observer misses with equal consistency.

Appreciation for the preciousness of each moment comes first, seeing things fully for the challenges and opportunities…and only then, precision of assessment and action. Abundance leadership. It’s not naïve, it’s enormously effective.

We had trainers extraordinaire – I’m so proud of the fact that of the six instruments that were presented and discussed during the week, five were presented by their authors, and the sixth was presented by a “first generation” expert who learned from the author. That’s a rare opportunity. There is something uniquely engaging and satisfying in learning about a tool  – how to use it, when to use it, what it will do, what it won’t do, etc. -  from the person who actually conceived of and built it.

It was an honor to experience:

• …Chris Musselwhite’s knowledge and insights on his Change Style Indicator and Paper Planes Inc. Simulation and to hear his experiences with teams from around the world who have found power in his ideas and exercises;
• …Mary Lippitt’s deep experience and understanding that went into her Execution Priorities Index and the Leadership Spectrum Profile. Hearing her discuss the best applications of each of her results-oriented tools and experiencing her intellectual generosity of spirit was a special treat;
• …Rob Kaiser’s powerful historical perspective on the evolution of leadership assessment tools and the potent gap that he and Bob Kaplan sought successfully to fill with the Leadership Versatility Index (LVI). It is clear why the LVI is growing rapidly in popularity around the world;
• …Stephanie Callison’s expert knowledge and experience of the Hogan Leadership Forecast Reports, which she’s been working with for over 10 years both as a practitioner and trainer. She managed to convey two days worth of complex material in a single day and keep everyone active and having fun!
• …Mike Rosenthal, who has been working with Chris and Discovery Learning for many, many years. We all learned from his breadth of experience and expert facilitation of the simulation;
• …Darren Overfield’s practical tips and hands-on coaching tools for using the Leadership Versatility Index with clients in the most productive way possible. His work is making our lives easier!

An added bonus at the very end of the week was hearing Rob Kaiser and Stephanie Callison present a case and share their experiences and insights on using the Hogan Assessments together with the Leadership Versatility Index (LVI) to gain unique insights into coaching clients. Each a powerful tool in its own right, together the Hogan and LVI make a dynamic contribution to understanding where the powerful client interventions may lie. Many, many thanks and professional kudos go out to all of our presenters. Standing up to lead a room full of professional trainers is daunting to say the least, and all of them rose to the challenge and exceeded expectations. We’d also like to thank Alan Buck, a highly talented videographer completing his course work at UNC-G, for capturing so much of the experience on film for us. Be on the lookout for video clips at the websites of Discovery Learning, Enterprise Management, and of course AvoLead!

In summary, it was a rich week of intellectual rigor, personal insight and sharing, professional networking, with a good dose of fun thrown in as well.  Obviously the best trainers in the world can’t do their thing without active participants – thank you to all who ventured out, took a chance, and attended the training. I saw some old friendships rekindled and strengthened and many new relationships forged. Best wishes to all – I have a strong suspicion that in future years, many will look back and say “that week in Greensboro in May 2009  is where this all began.”

Here’s a toast to you all and to the bright future we have begun.

Now let’s hear from you about what your key learnings were – and moving forward, I want to hear how you’re using the tools. I’m particularly eager to see how the Leadership Spectrum Profile meshes with the Hogan and LVI in my team interventions. Stay tuned for future blog postings!

Anyone interested in future training experiences like Take Five, please send us an email. We’re starting a mailing list now for the next event.

Barbara Giemza shared her reactions with us (below) and we want to hear your reactions to “Take 5″:
Barbara wrote:

I expect you all (Avolead) are digging out from under after being “out of pocket” all week, so will be brief with the promise of more when I see you again. I mainly want to thank you and AvoLead for a fabulous week of learning and camaraderie. I walked away with so much and appreciate all it took for AvoLead to negotiate and coordinate to make it all happen. From great assessments to passionate presenters, it was all so very well done.
Thank you. I look forward to the future in eager anticipation!
Now, let us hear from you. Thanks for all you did (individually and collectively) to make it a great week.
Janice