Beth Dixson writes …

The Financial Times (12-4-09, page 9: “Why Obama does not want a multipolar world order” by Zaki Laidi) has an excellent article on the uses and aspects of power in today’s global mix.  Deep within the article is an idea:

…”the world currently shares three global agendas:  the strategic agenda that continues to be massively dominated by the US, the economic agenda, which is more widely distributed, and the climate agenda, where the US is clearly on the defensive….”

What this suggests is a position can be taken within the US community that lagging in sustainability mind set, interests, and capability is further weakening its strategic and economic interests globally.  While a “values” argument has slower traction in our culture as yet (although rising in attractiveness in many quarters), a business case might be constructed by learning leaders for off setting a diminishing power base and a diluted economic one as reason to consider the green agenda.

It also suggests we have a large potential audience (within the US — not so much credibility abroad) for influencing a shift in mind set, creating critical mass within over time, towards sustainability as good business.

We are a pragmatic nation.  If we can craft a pragmatic argument, building momentum around it, there is vast potential yet to be unleashed and harnessed for prosperity in all respects.

Powerful ideas Beth–thanks for putting your thoughts out there.  What do you all think?  Do you have examples of strong cases for sustainability?

The last entry, “Show Up!”,  talked about the first “way” of being when in a coaching relationship and/or leadership situation.  Part Two, “Honor Your Heart,” takes us a little deeper into the journey.  ”Heart” in this context has to do with “the heart of the matter” or core values.  Honoring your heart requires that you know and understand some things about yourself and your core values, and that you be willing to honor them either by word or deed in your interactions.

The ultimate snake-bite kit: When you are clear within yourself about the key values you want to exemplify in your interactions, it is far easier to listen and respond calmly, no matter what the situation.  Far too often we get caught up in “what if” scenarios–what if she says this?  what if he does that?  what if nothing happens at all?  I joke with my clients that I sometimes feel they’re asking me for a snake-bite kit with a wide array of anti-venoms for every single species of snake imaginable!  When you only respond to the external environment, you’ll never have all the answers.  Never.  There will always be a new situation for which you can’t prepare–a new snake who will strike without warning.

So what’s the answer?  Go to the heart of the matter–inside yourself.  Who do you want to BE in these different situations?  Decide the answer to that question before you walk in, be willing to act in accordance with those core values, and you possess the anti-venom to anything that comes.

I attended a terrific presentation by Gary Alan Miller from the Career Development Center at UNC-CH. He talked through the many uses and tools in social media for accelerating a job search. Here’s a link to his slide show. It’s a great big world out there, AND it’s getting more like a small hometown everyday with old fashioned ideas like reputation, integrity, and “who you know” coming back into play. Enjoy!
http://www.slideshare.net/garyalanmiller/nccda-presentation

Angeles Arrien wrote a wonderful book years ago titled “The Four Fold Way” detailing the wisdom of indigenous peoples for creating healthy relationships for community.  I had the pleasure of speaking with Ms. Arrien two years ago and received her permission to use a modification of her model in the business world to give leaders a framework for their coaching and creating high performing teams.   I have seen this model work for leaders and teams around the globe.  Over the next four entries, I will describe the Four Fold Way as it applies to business leadership.

Part One:  Show Up!!

This may seem like a simple thing, and I challenge you to try it!  When done well, “Showing Up” will have a huge impact on your personal effectiveness as well as improve the outcomes of meetings and individual interactions.

“Showing Up” means more than just arriving on time or being physically present in a meeting or conversation.  It means being mentally present and focused as well.  When you “show up” you are not replaying the conversation you just had in the prior meeting; you are not wondering if your admin put the international conference call code in your BlackBerry for the meeting after this one; you are not wondering if you’ll be out of this conversation in time to catch the last quarter of your child’s soccer game or make it to the dry cleaner before they close.  You are definitely not checking your BlackBerry or laptop for messages.

So what are you doing?? (This list is not exhaustive and not in order of importance!)

• You are making eye contact
• You are listening to what the other person is saying without formulating your response while they are still speaking
• You are attending to their body language and seeking to understand all of what they are saying.
• In a larger meeting you are looking around the room to see what other dynamics are going on–who is paying attention, who is grimacing, who looks surprised …?
• You are paying attention to your own reaction to what’s going on–am I feeling defensive, suspicious, relieved, intrigued, engaged, invited …?
• You are demonstrating to the other(s) that you have “shown up” by reflecting back your understanding of what they’ve just said and gaining clarity on their view before moving forward with your own response.
• You are focused and present to the people and situation you are in.
• You release the distractions of what came before, what’s waiting for you after, and all the people and tasks vying for your attention now in order to pay full attention to what is in front of you.

As Stephen Stills sings, “Love the one you’re with!”

So try really showing up at your next conversation or meeting and feel the difference your full and true presence can make. And by the way, this is one you CAN try at home!  I’d love to hear about your experiences with “showing up!”

It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends. -J.K. Rowling, author (b. 1965)

I find this to be an excruciatingly true statement for myself, and I hear many of my clients struggling with the same thing.  They ponder the dilemma–”How can I understand and motivate those around me without coming to know them well … yet once I know them well I struggle with delivering difficult messages about poor performance.”  I think there are probably volumes to be written about how, as a society, we have come to  equate agreement and lack of challenge with support and nurturance.  That is a dangerous equation.

When faced with the need to give developmental feedback/coaching to someone on our team (or in our family) we often treat it as if it will, by definition, be a negative confrontation.  On one hand we develop our “what if ”  strategies to prepare ourselves to counter any argument, and on the other side we create a list of “softeners” to remind the person that we really are still caring and supportive.  We don’t want to hurt anyone, or worse, have them think badly of us for having spoken up on the topic.  I’ve even heard of strategies to “sandwich” negative feedback in between two compliments–that’s fine as long as the sandwich isn’t too heavy on bread without enough meat!

Years ago I picked up a little word shift that has been helpful to me and many clients.  Instead of looking on developmental, difficult conversations as confrontation, try thinking of them as CAREfrontations.  Think about it–what is the purpose of telling someone they’ve underperformed?  Usually it’s to help them learn from mistakes and get them back on a high performance path. That concern for their success in itself demonstrates a caring attitude.  How much support are you really giving by letting them continue to make career killing mistakes while smiling and pointing out only the positives?  Handled with respect, a caring conversation about improvement opportunities is what any good friend and great leader does.

So try looking through the lens of CAREfrontation rather than confrontation, and see if it relieves your own heartburn and increases the effectiveness of your coaching conversations.